I was doing soooo good yesterday, and then I allowed the smell of the fresh biscuits to get to me...and of course that lead to me having a side of rice and fish to go with it. I'm am so mad at myself, I am punishing myself today by eating nothing all day except for the glass of milk I had this morning. I feel sometimes like I have the will power of Gandhi and then other times I feel like I have none at all. I tried so hard to stay out of the kitchen yesterday and I was doing pretty good until I went down finally to do some laundry which just happens to be in the worst possible place. I had one meal that day, a salad with egg white, which made me feel a little normal, rather than an empty zombie. I have to work up to feeling normal with the completely empty feeling.
I can see myself getting thinner in my face, I can tell that Ana is helping me. My will power is getting a lot better though! At work people bring in all sorts of indulgences and I am not even interested....which is a really good sign. My husband does not suspect a thing, as far as he knows, I still eat all my meals. I told him that I was going on a diet, so he'll expect some weight loss, hopefully I can explain most of it away when I get to where I really want to be. I refuse to step on the scale until I notice a significant difference in the way my clothes fit; although I'm dying to know how much I lost.
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